community

has anyone else out there struggled with the concept of community? or more specifically, not the concept, but the living out of that concept?

i guess i've often held on to the expectation that community should just happen somehow. i've held on to the idea that if believers gather with other believers, that regardless of their differences - gender, ethnicity, history, political stance, theological perspectives - a sense of unity should prevail. well, biblically, it should prevail. but i think that i've allowed a sense of the magical to overtake the practical. i mean that i have expected community to just happen, while spending so much of my life unwilling to do the work that it actually entails.

i'll give a personal example here.

after having christians hurt me numerous times, i let myself become hardened. i moved away from trying to be in community and towards expecting people to approach me in a loving, unifying, communal way. when that wouldn't happen, it reinforced my belief that it was the fault of the people around me, that they didn't understand community or what it's supposed to be.

but then, a few years ago, i realized that i had to stop expecting community to just happen. i realized that if i wanted to enter into the stories and lives of others, i had to become willing to share my life and story with them. realizing this made no difference. because of the hurts i'd experienced in the past, i responded to that realization with a complete unwillingness to do anything about it. after all, i rationalized, been there, done that, been hurt - therefore i waited for someone else to take the first step.

that step never came.

i eventually realized that because God wants us to be in community, that it was a matter of repentance for me to open up my life to others, to share my story. though i didn't like that, it meant that i was able to begin to start taking small, fearful steps towards that - towards others.

in many ways it's easier to remain isolated. our culture teaches us to be independent. but scripture tells us that we're supposed to depend on God and each other. we can't do that as long as we believe our culture's lies.

as i began to share parts of my stories with others, for the first time in years, i found others were willing to do the same. as i began to share my struggles with those around me, i found strength through others, and i was able to begin stepping into the stories, struggles, and lives of those around me.

you know, i can't only blame our culture. it's easy to do that. but i think that much fault also lies in the way we "do" church these days. i mean, we show up once or twice a week, dressed up in our "sunday best" (or not), and sing some songs, listen to someone preach, listen to some people pray, give some money (after all, we have to pay for our attendance at the show), and maybe have a sip of juice or wine as we chew on a bite of bread. i don't know, but to me, that doesn't look like what we're supposed to be as a church.

i read an article the other day that mentioned that the amish don't say that they are going to church. they don't have church buildings, but instead meet at various places: barns, schoolhouses, people's homes. instead, they say that the church is meeting.

the terminology might seem simple or pointless, but i think it makes a big difference. instead of "going to church" they are continually reminded that they are the church, then on certain days (say, sundays), the church meets.

so why do we go to church? is that where our sense of community lies? why can't we be the church, and allow ourselves - as the church - to meet at certain times to deepen the sense of community? wouldn't our sense of community be deeper if we realized that having coffee with friends, sharing lunch or dinner together, even playing games is being in church? that church is meeting with each other where each one of us is, hearing each others' stories, relating the stories of our lives with God's story, and jumping in head-first into each others' struggles? wouldn't prayer be more meaningful if it wasn't simply some person at the front of the sanctuary saying some words that they feel led to say without the context of the entire community present influencing that? wouldn't it be a healthy move for the institutional church to stop trying to keep the power of the word "church" to itself, and realize that it should serve as a meeting place for the community, rather than trying to be what a community - not an institution - is supposed to be?