religion is the opiate of the masses

Marx declared that "religion is the opiate of the masses," and that it is used to dull the senses. i've known of this for years, but i can't say i've ever spent much time contemplating this thought. instead of arguing here whether or not his statement is true as a general principle or anything like that, i'd rather think through how that quote applies to me specifically. remaining in my typical fashion, i'm sure that this will be more a series of questions than any answers, but i'm okay with that.

so i guess the real question that Marx poses to me is: have i allowed religion to become my drug of choice? do i allow religion to dull my senses?

if that is the case, it's quite ironic. if i'm claiming to worship, love, follow, serve the almighty God of the universe, creator of everything, the one who's given me my very self and my senses, yet i use religion to dull those very senses, aren't i really stepping far from the realm of what God would want? if i'm allowing religion to be my opiate, then aren't i allowing myself to get high on that instead of on the spirit, as God would demand of me?

maybe i should step back a bit. it seems as if a better starting point may be to wonder about ways that religion serves as an opiate for me, a way to dull my senses.

does the practice of going to church each week dull me from realizing my need for God in the everyday? (though i'm not advocating for avoiding church, nor am i stating that my attendance is near impeccable.) as much as i may complain about the state of the church today, i must admit that it is too easy for me to slip into believing that since i've been to church, i've fulfilled my duty. singing four or five songs becomes worship. listening to someone preach becomes learning, and replaces the meditations of my heart and time studying on my own. hearing other people pray in this context minimizes some of my guilt for not praying much on my own.

do i allow my sense of religion to create a false dichotomy between the sacred and the secular? does my tendency to read "christian" books or listen to "christian" music more often than those from the "secular" market cause me to shrink my thinking? granted, some of the "christian" books i've read and some of the music i listen to are genuinely good, but am i narrowing my scope, my vision, by relying so much on these? am i missing out on truth available from other sources, written, created by those outside of the church? am i setting myself up to expect too little from God by only seeking truth in certain places?

does my ability to remain (though uncomfortably) in a ghettoized christian subculture, filled with it's own music, books, t-shirts, pens, jewelry, et cetera, allow my to blind myself to the needs of the world? do i rationalize spending money on yet another cd, because it's worship music or something like that, in a way that limits me from loving justice, doing mercy, and walking humbly with my God?

i guess my fear is that i let religion replace relationship. i too often let the things that are superficial become central. i focus more easily on the legalities: going to church each week, feeling or avoiding guilt for not spending enough time with God, how i should be praying, and most of all how my life appears to others within the christian community who may judge me for not fitting into the tacitly agreed upon ways of showing christianity. these legalities, combined with a consumeristic selfishness that causes me to want more, more, more, and to spend money on completely unnecessary things, keeps me trapped in religion.

Jesus wasn't ever about religion. all throughout the gospels he's getting on the case of the religious folks for letting religion block the way to God. religion should serve as a path - or directional signal - towards God. but we have followed the ways of the pharisees, believing our religion to be the path to God.

Jesus was about relationship, with others and with God. his relationship with God made him spiritual without ever being religious. his relationship with others made him . . . i don't know. . . real? authentic? human?

it's too easy to put my spiritual life on hold for the sake of following religious rules and legality. it's too easy to drown my soul by immersing myself in selfish consumerism. it's too easy to ignore an intangible God instead of figuring out how to have a relationship. it's too easy to remain self-centered and withdrawn than to enter into the lives of others.

so yeah, religion is a drug of choice for me. and it's not an easy habit to quit. i don't believe that walking away from church is the answer i'm looking for. i don't believe that shifting my spending habits from the "christian" to the "secular" market would bring the salvation i seek. somehow, in the tangled mess of things, i need to reprioritize so that religion can step back and quit dulling my senses, so that my senses can be fully aware of God's presence and glory and so that i can become sober enough to be aware and present in that and in my relationship with others.